For The First Time In My Life I Felt Wanted

I am 16 years old and come from a broken home, where my father left when I was 10 years old. When I turned 12, I started hanging around Times Square and 42nd Street in New York City, because most of the guys would hang around there to pick up older gay guys. Most of the time I didn't have any trouble finding older guys who wanted to have sex with me. Pretty soon, though, the police got to know me, and would send me to this Detention Center, but I would always wind up back on Times Square.

One night two older businessmen picked me up and took me to this motel. At first they acted real nice to me, but later in the motel they made me do all kinds of things to them, and I started to really get scared to death. After I let them use me, they put a cigarette to my rear end, and it hurt pretty bad. While one guy was doing this the other raped me, and then they dropped me off near Central Park without giving me a single dime. I knew my mother would kill me if I went home, so I went back to Times Square because I didn't have anywhere else to go. I was crying when this minister came up to me and asked me what was wrong, so I told him everything and he took me to his pad, where he gave me a bath and put some medicine on my behind. After he gave me some food, I asked him what I had to do in return, and he said not a thing. I guess he was the first person who really took an interest in me.

I stayed with him for nearly two years, and although he was a minister I knew he loved younger boys, because he told me one night. I finally got my mother's permission to live with him, and he made me promise never to hang around Times Square again. For the first time in my life I felt wanted, and he treated me like his real son. Sometimes we would just watch television together and do nothing but hug each other and kiss. Today I am sixteen and have a girlfriend, and he is extremely happy for me.

We have sex with each other, but he never forces himself upon me. I guess you could say I love him more than a father because he taught me nothing is dirty or wrong when it comes to sex with someone you really love.

I am sick and tired of listening to people putting down guys who love young boys. Sure, I know what a boy-lover is, but I also know that he is the most gentle person in the whole wide world, and I can always go to him with all my problems and he listens and helps. I found out early that most guys who hurt young boys are not boy-lovers.

Yours truly,
Gabriel
Havertown, PA

Copyright © NAMBLA, 2003. All rights reserved.