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What Is Man/Boy Love?

Published: 2010Updated:

Man/Boy Love: Propaganda versus reality

To explain man/boy love today, one must first explain what it is not: It is not what you view on television or read in newspapers. It’s not what you hear on Oprah or Geraldo, nor is it the propaganda put out by police and politicians.

It’s the love of a man for a boy, and of a boy for a man. Enjoyable, consensual, beautiful.

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The Love that Dare Not Speak Its Name

The "Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as the "Love that dare not speak its name," and on account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an elder and a younger man, when the elder man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. The world mocks at it and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it.

~ Oscar Wilde, playwright

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Who We Are

As never before, our society is beginning to recognize the value and richness of human diversity. The manifold nature of our humanity appears in the emotional, spiritual, and physical attractions between people. Attractions between men and boys can be found in every society, crossing lines of race, age, temperament and occupation. They form a sure basis for mentoring and friendship traditions the world over. Man/boy love is exceptional only for the degree to which it is still misunderstood in cultures derived from Northwestern Europe. Most man/boy relationships are based on mutual respect and affection, and strongly desired by both partners. Such relationships do not harm anyone, and often entail many benefits for both man and boy. Boy-lovers and boys alike respond to the needs of those they love — needs for affection, understanding, and freedom.

Who we are is perhaps best understood from Dr. John Money’s account of two boys, who speak about how they view their adult lovers: Andy – “Just as normal as anybody else. He is like a second father to me.” Burt – “He’s neat; and he’s nice, and gives me more respect than anyone ever has ... he treats me like an adult, not like my parents treat me. To me, he’s my best friend.”

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