A False Sense of Morality  

by Charles Lee Lamadrid Blake


The other day I was reading a relevant article from August of 2020 defending Democrats from accusations of “pedophilia” by Republicans in the media. The article which appeared at slate.com was entitled, “Why Republicans have become obsessed with accusing their opponents of pedophilia.” In the fourth paragraph, the article’s author states, “There are a few reasons why pedophilia is the accusation of choice: It is probably the easiest to understand, the least defensible allegations available to them, and it's one of the few moral high grounds they believe they have left to claim.  Invented pedophilia allegations are an appealing ploy for a party whose identity remains wrapped in family-values rhetoric even as its efforts to camouflage its hollow moral center peter out.”

As minor-attracted people, we must try not to get swept up in all the controversy surrounding our feelings for children. When we come to understand that children having sexual feelings for adults and adults having sexual feelings for children are normal and in harmony with nature, we can begin to deconstruct this battlefield our society has created.

Note how the article’s author blindly asserts with absolute confidence that “pedophilia” is a behavior that cannot be defended, that sex with children is indefensible. But isn’t it just the opposite? Isn’t sexual intimacy a good thing? And if sexual enjoyment is good for adults, wouldn’t it also be good for children?

When we begin to examine more closely the inferences that sexual abuse theorists make about sex in general, we begin to understand just what a bad rap sexual intimacy is getting. Isn’t our ability to express physical love with one another wondrous? Isn’t it awe-inspiring to think that humans evolved beyond apes and chimpanzees over millions of years with an innate capacity to bond sexually and love one another? Aren’t the professional victimologists really just vilifying a part of human behavior that should be celebrated?

The beginning of wisdom lies in wonder.  – Socrates

 When we look back to the past, we see that many people at various times in history were killed and tortured for expressing themselves sexually in ways that were not approved by the rigid standards of their societies.

 In the 18th century came the Age of Reason. But what is reason? Isn’t it about looking at the facts and taking powerful emotions and irrationality out of our decisions as much as possible? But what do you see when you look at the cheap tawdry circus surrounding all these accusations of “pedophilia” in the media?

We see those who aren’t ruled by reason but by powerful emotions. One of the greatest thinkers who ever lived, Socrates, ancient Greece’s father of Western thought, said that any system of morality built around powerful, relative emotions has no truth and nothing sound in it. He added that it must be a thoroughly vulgar concept.

The unexamined life is not worth living.  – Socrates

 So when we see American society swept up in obsessive hysteria over adult–child sexuality, we should try our best to detach ourselves from the controversy over something as wholesome and beneficial as intergenerational sex can and should be. We see it correctly. They do not.

Throughout human history, societies have frequently been wrong about commonly-held beliefs. In Galileo’s time, people believed the sun revolved around the earth. But Galileo‘s research showed that the earth actually revolves around the sun.

At the time, the Catholic Church was heavily invested in the belief that the sun revolved around the earth and not the other way around. Church officials were not happy with Galileo‘s position. The end result of his persecution was that Galileo had to recant his beliefs in order to save his own life and was forced to live under house arrest until he died. Today, it is common knowledge that the earth revolves around the sun.

In some ways, we’re better off than we were during the Dark Ages. In other ways, things are worse. Progress is seldom linear. In the second half of the 20th century, American society took a giant step backwards when it began to reverse a historical tolerance for adult-child sex. The entire process is akin to taking two steps forward and one step back. Unfortunately, those of us who are attracted to minors need a course in intellectual judo just to help us deal with the reality of our persecution. For us, the Dark Ages are still very much a reality.

Recently, I was besieged on Twitter by a hysterical mob of angry people hurling insults at me for simply trying to promote a better understanding of adult-child sexuality. We must ask ourselves whether such behavior is truly moral or not. For some of us with enough experience and insight to know better, we understand just how immoral hurling insults really is. The question at the heart of the matter is whether systems of morality are designed for this purpose or something else. In other words, are systems of morality designed to point out the shortcomings of others, or do moral systems have some other purpose? Authentic moral systems, whether religious or non-religious, are meant to help us cope primarily with our own shortcomings. That is, they are meant to be instruments of self-correction which are there to help us grow and develop into fully conscientious, responsible human beings.

Authentic moral systems are not war zones of right and wrong where people try to outdo one another in a constant battle of one-upmanship. Morality is not a toxic competition or a dog-eat-dog struggle over moral superiority where the loser’s livelihood and life get destroyed. The human pursuit of authentic morality is an endeavor that lends beauty and dignity to life. It builds compassion in our hearts for one another not make us want to rip the other person’s heart out and devour it.

When we read this article about Republicans and Democrats, we see that all they’re really doing is fighting over who is the most moral. One could imagine that any life form coming from another world might look at us fighting over morality this way and just decide to keep on going and bypass Earth altogether.

Common sense is not so common.  – Voltaire

As minor-attracted people, we should not allow ourselves to internalize the feelings that others have for us. The most devastating assumption that we can make is that those who dehumanize us are right and to allow them to define who we are. This self-hatred turned inward can destroy us. Turned outward, it destroys the quality of many lives. Against all odds, we must try somehow to keep our own narratives alive and well. This article is dedicated to all those who have tragically believed those whose opinion of them as being less than worthless.

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue, but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.  – Mark Twain 
 
Mark Twain also said that when we find ourselves siding with the majority it is time to pause and reflect. As minor-attracted people, we should be skeptical of anything the majority believes because the bulk of the population has almost always been misguided here and everywhere else. 

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. – Mark Twain 

As minor–attracted people, we should try our best not to allow ourselves to fall victims to the savage and senseless mischaracterizations of our innocent nature. We should guard against anything judgmental and something I call knee-jerk morality by protecting the warmth in our hearts and trying to understand everything in the world around us. When we understand, forgiveness is included. Like the article said, their moral center is hollow and empty. We must move forward with humility, grace under fire, and dignity.

Before we can forgive one another, we have to understand one another.  – Emma Goldman

In order just to “feel” like moral beings, many have to point the finger at innocent victims. Arbitrarily judging others requires no thought and, thus, no effort, but taking the time to look at issues from many different angles and make informed decisions requires rigorous thought and a commitment that most people of the not so moral majority are unable or unwilling to make. Truly moral people don’t need to puff themselves up at the expense of others. They don’t feel like their light shines brighter when ours is dimmer.
 

Of all the communities available to us, there is not one I would want to devote myself to except for the society of the true seekers, which has very few living members at any one time.  – Albert Einstein

The entire way of thinking that involves looking down on minor-attracted people is nothing but self-righteousness. It is sanctimonious and self-serving – not borne of generosity but utter conceit and selfishness. We see this when we’re mobbed online or when we’re attacked in the real world by those who are conveniently setting themselves up to be the “good guys” at our expense.

This behavior is not the behavior of adults but a destructive and menacing form of infantilism. This infantilism believes that in order to feel superior you have to make someone else feel inferior. It is a sinister and selfish con game, a way of egotistically feeding off the misfortune of others. By shaming and humiliating others, they feel like moral beings, and this constitutes an inauthentic morality that is prevalent everywhere today in the cult of self.

This false morality is built on powerful, negative emotions. As we know, human emotions and their intensity can change like the wind. This is why mobs like the one I experienced on Twitter are so unstable. At an individual level, this is nothing short of emotional instability. Reasoning objectively using sound logic offers us a better way.

With the coming of the Age of Reason our understanding of the world began to lean on science and objective thinking instead of emotions. Understanding the world through the rational pursuit of knowledge over superstition offers us a better, more useful way of viewing our world. This is a way that is grounded in facts as opposed to self-imposed ignorance.

When we stop to think about the negative consequences of running off of sheer emotions, we can see that emotions are more readily influenced than objective thinking. With the circus we see in the media, it’s good to remain as objective as possible. Otherwise, we may find our emotions being played upon to unduly influence us instead of informing us, and any vibrant democracy relies on the decision-making capacity of a well-informed electorate.

Be informed, not influenced.

For the task of remaining objective and unattached, we almost need a third eye, a way of looking at any situation in life as though we were a bird objectively observing everything below while perched on a branch above. Objectively observing any experience allows us the opportunity to remain clear-headed and to better assess the situation at hand.

Admittedly, it’s not always an easy thing to do to remain objective and keep our emotions under control when facing difficult and harrowing life events. It is however something we can learn to develop if we practice doing so.

To illustrate, in 1995, my biggest challenge was trying to remain objective while facing the possibility of life in prison for crimes that I didn’t commit. The prosecution had accused me of child sexual abuse and physical abuse and offered me a plea bargain if I would admit that I was guilty and throw myself at the mercy of the court. I never really thought about the decision. I refused the plea-bargain which would have got me out of prison in a few years and chose instead to face over 70 years behind bars in order to defend my innocence. Facing life in prison is one of the most stressful life events anyone can ever experience. I was 30 years old and in the prime of my life but was almost overwhelmed by the proceedings I was forced to endure for something I didn’t do.

Yet, there was a part of me that was still able to reason through this situation and remain objective enough to stay under control. I had the wherewithal to remain outwardly calm and think about the experience coolly. They say reason obeys itself, but ignorance obeys force. I remained calm enough to face life in prison rather than to sellout an important principle for leniency.

Calm, cool, and collected.

While I am attracted to all age groups, including minors, the principle I defended was that thoughts and feelings should never be considered wrong. Some things must remain sacred and untouchable. I do understand that even actions in this case would have been morally right and beneficial for both the child and me but that, in the end, only the actions of humans should ever be considered mistakes, and thoughts and feelings do not always translate into actions later. Notwithstanding the unsubstantiated charges of abuse, in a very real sense I was prosecuted for thoughts and feelings. This sadly is where we’re at as a society and will have grave consequences for all life on Earth.

In the end, the prosecution may have conceded a point by opting to prosecute only a quarter of the charges they had brought against me. And so, I was sentenced to 18 years in prison and was released in 10 years with good behavior. I would have been released sooner with a plea-bargain, but I never regretted my decision or second-guessed myself.  

I know there are lots of minor-attracted people in the world who are facing similar situations. The article at slate.com shows us that some of the most powerful people on Earth are subject to the same accusations we are forced to endure routinely.

When we begin to see that all of these manifestations as just symptoms of a disturbed society, maybe we will begin to have more compassion for ourselves when we are marginalized and murdered for something that is completely natural and has protective benefits for all of humanity. After all, love for others begins with a healthy love for oneself.

In the end, it is important for us to understand that self-love is the necessary prerequisite for loving others. And to love others even as we love ourselves, we must accomplish the art of self-acceptance and self-appreciation in a world that misguidedly teaches us to hate ourselves just for being human, just for being ourselves.

Many people, especially, ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth.

– Mahatma Gandhi