From Our Mailbox

A selection of letters from our mailbox

July 4, 2020:

This is a story of who I am:

I believe that it is important to live my life to the fullest. It is not easy when I am a boylover as I have to endure the unjust and skewed view of society. It corners me so that I start believing that I am unworthy of love, not only of boys but also of everyone. It leaves a very harsh impression on me that I carry with me. Unfortunately, this manifested itself in suicidal ideations and wanting to kill myself so that I don't see people gain victory over me and force me to be someone I am not. This experience in isolation continues to be very scarring for me.

Since I am left with few options I decided that I wanted to do something about my situation. I was trapped and being suffocated by society, so I decided that I wanted to tell people who I was and see what their reaction was.

I thought that the best approach was to do this in a very controlled way. First I would talk about my orientation to my closest friends and maybe then to my family and then I will finally tell the world that I am a complete person and I have been here all along but now they had to recognize me as I want. Not the least easy.

So I talked to my friend about my orientation. I told her that I was a boylover, attracted to young boys. All in all her reaction was normal but she had a whole host of questions. I tried to accommodate as many as I could but there are so many of them that this is turning out to be a process that we both will live through. It is exciting.

I explained to her that I view sexual orientation as age dependent rather than the way homosexuals thought of it as gender dependent (I do ascribe to the homosexual model as I am a male attracted to boys). I explained how I feel that people are born with varying degrees of age-of-attractions, and mine falls into the 7 -13 year old boys interval. I also explained that now it is not easy as if she decides to tell someone about my sexual orientation I might end up in jail. It was important for me to explain to her how I wanted to keep this between us.Her questions revolved around the idea that I would force myself onto boys and I assured her that this was not something that I would do. One of the things that she was hung up on was how compatible my adult brain would be with that of a child. At the time I was not able to respond to that and the closest I was able to offer was Oscar Wilde's defense of his love:

"The Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as the "Love that dare not speak its name," and on account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an elder and a younger man, when the elder man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. The world mocks it and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it."

I wanted to cherish this moment with her for a long time. It was not easy telling her about me but I did. We have created a whole new human connection between us and that is what was really important. I wanted her to ask as many questions to me as possible as I know that she would get her information from untrustworthy sources. I was the best source to answer these questions.

I don't know how this would play out. We have yet to build on this. What was important is that I have discovered a whole new plane into which to expand my friendship with her. I was proud, although scared, and I wanted to explain that boylove exists and it manifests itself in me.

I was facing a dire future and I wanted to do something about it.

Today I walk a little taller, I fill my space more and I am happy to do things that I was planning on doing for a while.

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Hello!

Am 25, living in Croatia. Maybe you're surprised by my message — I'm a man-lover. I discovered your organisation's existence in 2013.

Since I was 7, I knew I am attracted to men. Last year, I contacted editor of the magazine "Ethos"; I found "Boy Wiki" in 2018, after watching documentary about sex abuse hysteria in the USA. NAMBLA was mentioned, and I did research on the female psychiatrist, "nemesis of NAMBLA". I don't believe into Satanic abuse.

I believe in the positive approach to human body, discovering sexuality's beauty. As a young boy, aged 12, I enjoyed looking at beautiful artworks depicting men. Growing healthy, I wasn't abused/maltreated. Attraction towards men appeared naturally, although I didn't reveal that until last year, first to "Ethos" editor. Later, I told my friend ("lover"), who's 57.

Is my message unbeliveable? I'd like to share my experience. Maybe it can help other youths to understand their sexuality.

My philosophy views violence's only purpose in self-defense — so, abusing anyone is contrary to my worldview. Can 13-years old boy, mature enough, enjoy with the male friend aged 40, discovering life's many aspects, including sexual (consensual)? Guessing you know my answer! :-)

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Man boy love is sacred

I remember being 14 years old and craving attention, not just attention from anyone, but a attention from a man. My father was in the navy and would be deployed 6-12 months at a time leaving me with just my mother. I remember wanting to feel so close to an older man to learn how to be a man and experience the world around me.
At 14 I sought out the company of men my fathers age or older on Craigslist, posting pictures promising whatever favors I needed to do to feel in the presence of a man and male bond. Men came to me easily I was/ am still very attractive white blond man. I couldn't get enough of the bonding.
I loved everything those men offered me. Warmth, comfort, intimacy, affection, love, it all made me feel so satisfied like I knew what my life purpose was, to bond with men and boys.
i am 24 now and cherish the memories of being a boy and one day want to meet a boy to bond with.

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Hello!

I am from a Russian MAP community. We decided to mark Day of Remembrance and Solidarity with victims of pedophobia at July 14 in 2020 year. (At this day in 2013 year Bijan Ebrahimi was murdered due public hatred of pedophiles.)

You can read more about this here:
https://right-to-love.name/node/629
https://right-to-love.name/node/637

I think you may be interesting in it.

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To whom it may concern,

I was wondering if you all have ever considered loving little "midget" people/ dwarfs. I know the term midget is politically incorrect but you don't seem have issues with pedophilia so I thought why not. So seriously wouldn't it be legally preferable to make love to consenting adults that mimic children? This is not a joke or meant to be insulting I would really like to know if it ever comes up for a vote.

I in no way condone boy love or pedophilia of any kind but am just curious if this has ever come up as an option.

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Hi. I am a gay 14 year old living in New Jersey. I tried writing this to *****@yahoo.com however it seems his email is down. [Ed: member now deceased] I really hope this email works because I am extremely interested in writing for NAMBLA. Many people seem to think Boy Love is in the interest of the man but they fail to see that the boy loves the relationship. It is sad that today a loving, nonviolent relationship is illegal. I am wondering if their is an interest in me writing for the website offering my perspective. I am also wondering what the extent of what I can write is. I want to know what is too graphic. The boy love movement is losing support and NAMBLA is the only chance at turning that around!

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Hello I am considering a membership with your group as a way of exploring part of my life I've felt obligated to neglect. Always felt wrong to allow myself freedom of expressing this inner truth. But, after much prayers, I believe I owe myself an opportunity to understand it and others like me who share those same beliefs. I do feel like our ideologies are compatible. My only fear is opening a can of worms that I'll never be able to close because I refuse to allow any natural urge control over what I have worked so hard to protect through my life. That's what scares me. But I don't want to hate myself anymore for what I believe in my heart to be beautiful. All I want is acceptance, understanding, & forgiveness. I feel like our community is so vulnerable, we really do need each other. Read that ur also taking submissions of written material to use as content on the site, which I would consider contributing to. A lot on my mind to discuss that was buried deep down inside for so long. I'd be willing to share my perspective if it helps. What would my membership consist of exactly? Must admit I'm nervous about this. But don't wanna do this alone anymore. Do you genuinely believe I belong on here?

Thank you for your time & creating this for our people

God bless

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Hello, I am writing to hopefully find a contact in my New England area. I am leery of writing this email due to the stigma in our society about this area of interest. I am a 69 year old trying to talk with someone with the same interests as me to perhaps find some kinship. I would appreciate finding someone close to communicate our feelings. Perhaps you can guide me a bit. I am not yet comfortable enough to join NAMBLA due to my paranoia. Thank you . You have great courage

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