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From Our Mailbox

Published: 2020Updated: 11 September 2921

A selection of letters from our mailbox

Letters may be edited slightly to correct spelling or to clarify meaning.

Opinions expressed are those of the writer and not necessarily those of NAMBLA. Letters are published in a spirit of free expression of ideas.


August 31, 2021

Puzzling Request

We did not know if the writer was genuinely curious or if mischief was the goal. We however take all queries at face value and answer all apparently serious questions. The following is the question and then our answer:

how does this man boy love thing work when age of consent laws are considered

In a free democracy one should obey established laws and only work to change them when they do not seem reasonable. A free democracy provides legal ways of changing laws, and one of the tools for change in the right to free speech.

There is plenty of evidence to back up the belief that current age of consent laws are not reasonable or even effective. It is your right to differ, but your telling us what you yourself think would be appreciated.


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August 11, 2021

Kids Wanting their own Say

The following was sent by a correspondent who wants to stay anonymous. He found the following Dear Abby letter that dates back many years but nevertheless makes an important point about young people.

"DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl. My birthday is next month, and I can't wait. I'm looking forward to being a teenager, but more than that, when I'm 13, adults won't think of me as a "little kid."

Most adults think when you are 13 you are more responsible than you are when you are only 12, but actually, you aren't.

It makes me angry when adults assume that I'm irresponsible because I'm a "little girl." (Some of the teenagers I know act like 2- year-olds.)

Please publish my letter, Abby, so adults will know how people my age feel when we are treated like "little kids" when we are not."

I Know this is not a boy and NAMBLA is "Boy Love '' but "Age of consent and when are people (not just boys) able to make decisions about their bodies. I thought you might enjoy this.  :)


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August 2, 2021

Questions and Answers

Hello,

I am curious on your viewpoint regarding the following

I lived in San Francisco for a few years recently and got to know many gay men closely for the first time in my life.

Never having had gay friends close enough to ask personal questions, I asked them typical questions like "when did you know" etc etc, so that I could better understand this orientation and how it comes to be.

I believe most told me they always knew, or knew very young.

But a significant amount of them also told me they had sexual experiences with an adult male at a very young age, some before they ever thought about their own sexuality.

I don't recall how they all framed this. I believe at least 2 had called it abuse or having gotten abused.

One told me it was before he ever thought about anything sexually.

I ask you, with no judgment or want to vilify you, how does an adult boy lover go about this? 

Meaning, would you feel as though your sexual or emotional actions towards a boy would shape their sexual future, in sense without their consent, before they have had their own uninfluenced ability to explore their own sexuality?

Do you think there is a strong correlation between adult homosexuality and young sexual experiences with adult males as boys?

Thanks for your insight it helps me understand my own self.

I also had an experience where a man was very violently homophobic around me, who got very upset at me, because he thought I was making a sexual advance on him when I was only being kind, and he later inferred that he had gotten raped and I understood this is why he was so violent about this issue. 

I don't think all pedophiles rape children, in that a believe some relationships can be consensual, and I believe this violent man was an adult when he got raped, but how do you deal with this issue of consent with a child who may not even know his sexual orientation yet, and that your actions are likely potentially influencing that?

S.(name withheld)

Hi S,

Some of your questions presume hypothetical situations that, given today's Draconian consequences, cannot be answered in any realistic way.

Even if someone underage freely initiated a relation forbidden in law with an adult person, such an encounter would of necessity be secretive and consequently emotionally corrosive. Once discovered, it would create for the older partner life destroying consequences. Consequently, the younger partner would surely experience a combination of negative feelings. Among these would be an immense feeling of guilt for causing the older partner to be sent to prison, feeling of guilt and personal shame because authorities claim that the relation itself was reprehensible. He would eventually reinterpret the relationship as abusive according to the narrative of the authorities and Medieval thinking social services. There would be harm done of the iatrogenic kind -- that is, harm not done because of the relationship itself but because of the ensuing social condemnation.

For this reason, NAMBLA will not counsel such relationships no matter how freely accepted. When a change in social perceptions followed by different laws comes to be, then a different discourse will be possible.

As to your question as to how people come to the realization as to who they are, there is no simple answer. Everyone is different, and life is very complex. We cannot study it like a simple chemistry or physics experiment. But your questioning of people you knew was a good beginning to discovery.

To use a non-sexual example, some people do not realize personal talents such as ability to sing beautifully or to paint magnificently or being superior at math until later in life. Some realize their talents almost from birth. The same is true for sexuality, and you can believe it, some never have sexual feelings well into adulthood and sometimes never.

Human beings possess a certain arrogance in thinking that their free will enables them to change into anything that society wants them to be. When individuals feel forced to become who they are not, we have a recipe for mental illness and sometimes suicide.

Human beings once trusted those claiming to be able to identify witches. There were even manuals written to do so. We are not much different today when clinical psychologist claim to predict all sorts of bad consequences to youngsters experiencing intergenerational sex. These bad consequences are iatrogenic (that is caused by negative social reactions). Of course, there are people who act badly, but this is true for all human interactions and thankfully relatively rare. If heterosexual relationships were to be judged by the same standards as homosexual ones, heterosexuality would be made illegal.

Galileo was once condemned by the Catholic Church for his proof that the Earth revolved around the Sun and not otherwise. Despite of all our modern technology, people, even supposedly intelligent ones, are today behaving as stupidly as those who once thought that the Earth was the center of the Universe.

I hope this clears a few thing, but do not hesitate to bring up further questions. There is a lot more to be said but too little time to do it all at once.

* * *

July 8, 2021

From a correspondent

The Next Generation

Growing up, I always thought about people like us as the old man in the trench coat. The boogeyman that society makes us out to be. Then puberty came. I justified myself by saying "I like them my age. There's nothing wrong with liking someone your own age or a little younger." Then the years between my age and what I like grew, and grew. I eventually had to, still have to, accept that this is who I am- and that there is nothing wrong with that.

As a young man, a member of the newest generation in our society, I've come to view myself as a symbol of hope for myself and everyone like me. If someone so young can realize this is within them: then anyone and everyone can. It'll continue. We will continue. My kids, grandkids, and their grandkids all could and may be like me.

But until then that I can share a passion with those closest to me; I'll remain where I am. Peering through the looking glass. Secretly hoping with every person I see, every stocker, waiter, cashier, CEO, teacher, student, everyone that I see, that one of them; any of them, all of them, are like me. I'll continue to hear the stories and see the news about those who fulfill their fantasies, and continue to hope and dream that one day that will be me.

I am you. The younger you. I don't know what to do or have anyone to guide me. But I am here, and I will not let us fade out into the night.

We will survive.

* * *

July 2, 2021

From a correspondent

I wish everyone involved in the Nambla organization a happy July the 4th weekend. I support everything you guys stand for and hope to someday be more involved with the organization when opportunities appear because I believe strongly in protecting the love and rights of a man and boy who love each other and love spending time together.  Society has destroyed so many beautiful relationships between men and boys. I imagine someday a world where a man and boy can hold hands or cuddle while watching fireworks on July the 4th without worry of being separated and exposed. I am proud of Chris for staying strong and wish he could be freed from this injustice. He also has my full support. 

Thank you guys.
* * *

By L.Teognis

Cordial greetings, in this letter I feel pain and frustration, a frustration created by the already known "witch hunt", by the oppressive situation and by the use of violence. The morals of this world have made it so since civilization lost its values. But I also see hope, because natural inclinations and predilections are what will generate trust and true honor, so I see a real bright spot in a future social breakthrough regarding self-determination and the "coming out of the closet" of Socratic lovers. My absolute revulsion to mistreatment in prison systems.
Thanks for sharing as always.

We must promote the psychological and moral support of those neglected in prisons and isolation centers, etc. We must fight for dignity and tolerance, for respect for humanity.

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June 12, 2021

From a Boy from Columbia Writing in Spanish

We are publishing the following letter without translation. This can be done fairly accurately with translation apps on the Internet. Human beings can do it better, but we need more people carrying the load. If anyone coming to this site who is fluent in both Spanish and English, we could use some of our more important documents being translated into Spanish. The following letter is quite touching and apparently genuine. Though he has not asked, we leave out his name for his privacy.

Holi, okay pues como te dije yo conocí a mi novio cuando tenía 11 , y el tenía 60, el era muy bueno conmigo y siempre me quiso mucho, yo fui el que decidió empezar todo y el no me apresuró a nada , recuerdo que en varias ocasiones el me llevaba a mi escuela  y se comportaba muy bien conmigo lo ame por qué el se parecía mucho a mi papi,

el fue muy cariñoso conmigo y siempre me amo recuerdo que cuando nosotros empezamos a jugar desnudos el me preguntaba primero si quería y siempre le decía que si por qué a mí me gustaba, fue el primer hombre que vi desnudo y lo ame demasiado siempre solíamos jugar cuando nadie nos miraba y me divertía mucho con el y sus amigos, el me enseño muchas cosas , estoy muy agradecido con el, es la única persona que he amado en mi vida y fue muy importante para mí. Sin el no se que sería de mi vida ahora mismo, ahora cumplí 14 años hace 4 días , y vivo en colombia. el se tuvo que ir de aquí por asuntos de su trabajo pero nunca lo voy a olvidar ❤️ 

esa es mi historia resumida 

si quieren podrían subir mi historia a su página o tal ves si quieren me podrían decir que más tengo que hacer , haré enserio cualquier cosa que me pidan pero porfavor quiero que el mundo escuché mi Historia :(

* * *

Dear NAMbLA

I'd like to say thank you for everything your organization does. There are many organizations that claim to listen to the youth, when In reality they treat them like rubbish. NAMbLA is one of the rare gems that treats us, the youth as valid intelligent people and listens to what we have to say. I can only hope one day the youth and all people are given true sexual liberty! Thank you all for what you do

- Alex



May 4, 2021

A Valuable Exchange

We reprint the following email exchanges with Canadian journalist Laura Palmer because we feel it may be a valuable lesson for not only those who support our efforts but also for those who may have a misapprehension of what we are about. Our initial angry reaction was due to our collective memory of having had all sorts of nefarious innuendos and accusations thrown at us.

Greetings from Vancouver Island

I'm a journalist here in Canada, beginning work on a project with the family of a young boy who was abducted many years ago. 
I interviewed one of your members decades ago on a different topic. And wondered if there might be someone available to speak with me.

I appreciate that your organization would not condone an abduction. And yet you might have a perspective worth hearing and potentially know of people who could hold information. 

The case happened 30 years ago in Victoria, so most valuable would be to hear from members who are in that 50 +age range and Vancouver Island geographic area.
 
Many thanks in advance for your consideration,

lp

 * * *
  
Ms. Palmer,

Notwithstanding your apparent recognizing that our organization would never condone the unspeakable act you are investigating, your asking us for a perspective speaks against that very denial and is extremely insulting.

One “perspective” that we can give you is that the overwhelming number of abductions of young children are done by family members fighting over custody. Stranger abductions are vanishingly small and can be enumerated on the fingers of one hand, corresponding nearly one on one to the laws named after the abductees. Go ask the families responsible for the laws they promoted if they are aware that in their grief they have perpetuated and multiplied even greater grief with these stupid and counterproductive laws.

Another perspective we can give you is that we wish you to never contact us again. The mindset you present is abhorrent and epitomizes the ignorance and stupidity in society. This may not be your intention, but in the kind of journalism you seem to be pursuing you are spewing even more poison into today’s zeitgeist.

 
 * * *
Oh gosh. I didn't mean to offend. 
 
And clearly, I failed to communicate what I was I was hoping you could offer.

That said, I hope you won't hold me my inability to articulate the request, against me. 

 Your observation on stranger abductions is spot on. This case is a rare one indeed.

 My journalism is fair and empathetic, I don't think I've ever been accused of spewing poison.
 
Should you have a change of heart and want to have an off the record conversation, please let me know.

 Otherwise, I will honour your request and not contact you again.

 lp
 
 * * *

Dear Ms. Palmer,

The anger was not so much towards you personally but more towards a mindset that has been too easily accepted without challenge. Many otherwise well meaning people buy into received “wisdom” failing to exercise greater examination.

Perhaps the following suggestions may help.

For all anyone knows, the disappearance you are investigating may very well have been perpetrated by an emotionally unbalanced woman needing a child to nurture and to provide for her (the abductor) some sort of emotional balance. This also thankfully happens rarely but is a possibility that one does not have to have any expertise to suggest. Any thinking individual with a mind not locked into a perceptive cage could have suggested this to you. We certainly do not have any special perspective in this area. Please do not take affront assuming that we are accusing you of not thinking. You are to be commended for looking for ideas that are not always in front of us. Our expectation is that you also look “outside the box.”

In a way, even women not especially unbalanced have stolen children. This happened in Argentina when many couples accepted children of people disappeared during the former dictatorship. These people, women abetted by their husbands and related to Argentine higher-ups, knew damned well what they were doing. If you want to get into the minds of kidnappers of children for emotional balance, there must certainly exist literature covering the syndrome.

(We reserve the right to reprint our exchanges in our letters section in hopes of educating readers to avoid making unexamined assumptions.)
 
 * * *
 
Thank you for this. I don't have tunnel vision at all on my approach.
 
The child could well have been abducted by a woman or a couple for a number of different reasons.
 
I've just found in the past that being open and creative, casting a wide net and consulting with people authorities may not have considered can be helpful.
 
lp

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April 29, 2021

Kudos

By Charles

Hello,

I've read the article entitled, 'Soft Science, Hard Time,' about ten times now and find it to be a game changer for me. I can relate to every word. Eric Tazelaar's writing style is about where I'm at as a reader and what I aspire to become as a writer. I'm captivated by this subject because it applies to me so profoundly. For me, like so many others who love children, life has been an ongoing atrocity for decades now.

Admittedly, I came to your website with some bias of my own. You and others who write about the subject think at the highest levels in line with what I've seen in other fields of study. As Einstein put it, you belong to a broad, but tiny band of people worldwide he called truth tellers. For decades, I have found myself isolated and completely alone. I was not expecting the authority with which you and others write about the subject. It's wonderful to know I'm not alone.

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April 19, 2021

A Youth Perspective

By Jackson

For clarification, my name is not Jackson. This is some random account I made under a random name. I want to stay anonymous here as the last thing I need are feds after me. I'm terrified I'm being watched as I type this. And though I know Your organization is mainly for same sex couples, I consider this the only place to tell the world how people like me truly feel

I'm 14 and I live in North America. I've never enjoyed the presence of people my age. Even as a Heterosexual, I never cared for females my age. I was always interested in older women. I could never care for what people my age would talk about, I was more interested in things like politics and books. It's always a joy when I'm able to be around older people, I love to have long discussions with them, and I'm glad I'm never seen as a kid by them, they make me feel welcome. 

And yet despite this all, the regime I live under tells me I'm unable to express my love for older people. I'm told that somehow, I'm unable to do something on my own terms. It's painful. It's the worst pain of all to not be able to be with someone you love. The real rapists are not adults who only wish to love and nurture young people. 
They are the suits and ties who make laws and systems that are deliberately made to break down the strongest human emotion; Love
 
My own spirit, soul and mind is being raped by a government shaped by years of tyrannical policies. 

I hope one day, when things might change that our stories are heard. I want succeeding generations to see how backwards and criminal this world was.

One day.


Our response:

Hi Jackson,

You do write on a level that even many adults seldom reach. Then, the nineteenth century French teenage poet Arthur Rimbau wrote sophisticated poetry the equal or superior to that of his contemporaries. Society tends to treat the young as it used to treat (and still does) women and people of different races. So we understand quite well your frustration.

Most will not admit anything outside the acceptable that will make them be judged negatively. A colleague did admit once that as a first grader he was sexually attracted to his teacher. Such feelings at so young an age are probably not uncommon but not to the point of daring letting others know.

Our attention is on same sex because of the orientation of our founders but also because going too far afield dilutes our efforts. That said, we are supportive of all consensual relationships that are defined by the quality of the relationships and not by arbitrary ages.

The media do not dare going too far in depicting intergenerational relationships. But the 1971 movie Harold and Maude may be worth your looking up. If you have not already done so, do check our article on Mary Kay Letourneau (fifth down on the home page of our current articles) to see that our sympathies are quite open to the experiences of others.

All the best,

Peter

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April 10, 2021

A Positive Recollection of Boyhood Experiences

By Anonymous

Greetings! I'm not entirely sure how to say what I feel the need to say, but I'm looking for information about the organization despite not being very interested in it's primary purpose. That being said it was because of this organization and groups like it that I was able to come to terms with things that occurred to me at a young age and propelled me into finally accepting myself for who I am. Although what occurred to me wasn't exactly what I'd call proper I'll admit always liking it when it occurred and even got to a point in which I'd ask for it to happen. For years I tried denying all of it especially the fact I enjoyed it and found myself in relationships and even a marriage that was nothing but a sham. I served in the military during don't ask, don't tell and was forced to hide even more than I already was despite continuing to engage in the very activities that policy forbid. A few years ago I decided to come out and admit that I'm not straight and since then things have gotten so much better and I actually feel like myself once again which is something I hadn't felt since I was young and first began experiencing with a much older man and continued to in secret for several years. I personally have no interest or attraction towards those younger than myself, but still actively seek out men much older than myself for what feels right and normal to me despite practically no one understanding how I could possibly feel that way given my age when it began compared to his. I rarely disclose that information to anyone simply because they don't or won't understand, but I know had it not occurred I'd probably still be questioning myself. I guess the best way for me to describe my interest is from the standpoint of a silent supporter who wouldn't mind the possibility of chatting and getting to know those who are NAMBLA members. As odd as it may sound to most people I have absolutely no regret when it comes to the things I first experienced as a young boy and I love the man who first introduced me to all that I eventually experienced.

Our response:

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for sharing a truth we have always known. At an earlier time when the feelings you experienced when you were younger could still be uttered, NAMBLA published a book titled "Boys Speak Out on Man/Boy Love." In it, boys tell the truth about the positive emotional connections they had with older men.

You are to be commended on eventually coming to the realization that your early experiences were something to be cherished. Unfortunately, many others fall under the negative spell of the media. Believing the false narrative put out by both news and entertainment media, they then mistakenly associate totally unrelated negative parts of their later lives to those early experiences they quite enjoyed and profited from.

Love does not have to be symmetrical, and just because you were loved as a younger person does not require you, as an adult, to replicate that love with a younger person.

[We suggested to our correspondent to post anonymously on boychat (https://boychat.org/). Others may wish to also do so.]

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March 16, 2021:

By L. Teognis

First of all I am very happy to hear from you again and to keep in touch with your newsletter. I found this review [see newsletter Vol. 1 No. 4] very interesting, in which you talk about the power of autonomy of young people, young boys and young people in general, from my point of view and in my opinion it is a very important topic, because it is directly connected with the subversion of the established social morality. Young people and their emancipation from the adult world is something that needs to be reconsidered, because they do have the power and the capacity to decide on certain issues in their lives, especially if they have an organisation and consensus, let's say an assembly.

Nowadays this concept and this education or pedagogy has been lost, because this system has made the kids, the youngsters, even more childish and infantilised, turning a fundamental part of an active society made up of potential free thinkers into a sector of the population without a voice and without decisions. A dependent and dumb sector has been created.

I think that young boys should revolutionise themselves as we have seen on many occasions and be able to vote on issues of free and consensual relationships and have their say. Obviously this cannot happen in a society that does not rule by its education and pedagogy, let alone by the will of the free-thinking and revolutionary individual. This is another one of the blatant failures of this decrepit Morla. Thank you very much for sending these emails, I am very happy to follow the communication, and I was very pleased to see my opinion.

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February 28, 2021:

By Anonymous (part I)

I can't remember exactly when it happened. it seemed to surface into my consciousness over a period of time. at first it was a curiosity. I had heard about guys who were attracted to boys. I don't like to be judgmental so I investigated the subject. Out of curiosity I began to look at pictures of boys on the internet. I noticed an undercurrent within myself that seemed to be very attracted to young boys. It was not hard or difficult to feel an attraction to them because they are obviously beautiful at that age. I learned that if my mind were opened to it my body would soon follow. I was surprised I had never realized how attractive boys were before. It was easy to want to look at, think of and appreciate their beauty more and more.

Very quickly I began to feel overwhelmed with an undeniable emotional and physical yearning for the pleasure serenity and joy the intimacy a relationship with boys would give me and them too. There didn't seem to be anything morally wrong with it because my attraction to boys was not founded on wanting to harm them in any way. There just didn't seem to be anything wrong with boylove based on the realization that loving another person in spite of their age or physical maturity was not malicious or malevolent. I could understand how other men could fall in love with boys. no man would want to do that for harmful or abusive reasons. Obviously it would be absurd to want to harm the object of my attraction and desire for love and tenderness that I felt for them. Their physical beauty produced an irresistible attraction anyone would feel for someone they loved. It was a revelation for me that I could love another human being regardless of their age or physical maturity and experience that so profoundly that it gave my life a wonderful new meaning and hope for the future. I began to look more closely at the boys around me, on the internet and knew and I had to accept I was now a boy lover.

Instead of judging myself or feeling guilty and ashamed it opened up the potential for expressing a deep love within myself that I had never known before. I felt both grateful and blessed that this gift of being a boylover had come into my life. Yes, I was afraid at first; confused, and a bit frightened. I knew the attraction within me was something that our culture and society did not approve of and condemned harshly. I certainly did not want to break the taboo of such a strong cultural sentiment against the love of boys. This is something that I could get in a lot of trouble for. As you know in our society your reputation can be destroyed for an attraction like this, as they like to say, "the love that dare not speak its name". Like anything else forbidden in our society I felt it expedient to repress my yearnings and feelings. I blocked it out of my mind because of fear. Who wants to love another human being in a way that all of society vehemently condemns? I felt self-conscious, afraid, and alone. I didn't know any other boy lovers. I did meet a few but they did not feel comfortable discussing the subject; maybe because of fear and shame? I couldn't even admit to myself I was one of them.

What triggered and renewed the boy love I repressed was the mainstream media reporting on the "drag kid" phenomenon. At that point I knew my self-denial about boy love was impossible to maintain. The pictures of the boys the media provided produced such a powerful attraction there was no doubt I was a boylover. Not only did I experience my boylove immediately when I saw the drag kids I also felt a sense of pride. These feminine boys gave me such joy aesthetically physically and emotionally that there was no possibility of ignoring my feelings for them. I wasn't about to go around broadcasting my preference for boys to everyone I met in public, but it was beyond doubt my feelings for them. It simply just made me happy. I've been lucky. I've had a wife and a girlfriend that I was able to discuss my boylover issues with. If anything having an opportunity to be honest about my feelings and physical attractions has enhanced and improved my relationships with the women in my life. There have been no negative consequences in that respect.

It's not something that I want to discuss publicly but it is a subject and a part of our culture I believe is so widespread among us that eventually it will be discussed more openly. I can't say it will ever be tolerated in a way that other preferences are but I think society will come around to understanding us in a way that it has not before because other previously marginalized groups are now accepted. Maybe, eventually, in some way, boylovers will be too. It feels good just to say it. I am a boylover and I'm proud of myself. It's opened up a whole new world for me. it's given me hope and renewed vigor for living. I've learned about an entire new horizon of love I never realized was out there. And yes, I still feel grateful and I feel blessed.

By Anonymous (part II)

My inner being and the choices I make are not under my control considering who I'm attracted to, the love I feel for them, and my physical desires. I am perfectly adjusted to and morally accommodated to my attraction to young boys. I realize the world outside of me at any moment could destroy me socially, legally, financially, and physically, if they choose --- because of who and what I love; young boys.

I have my own inner, mental, emotional, and spiritual world. We all do in one form or another. The reality of that world for me is an attraction to young boys. It's more than just an attraction. There are days I find myself in a state of melancholy and despair crying for the boy I love. I experience a state of ecstasy for his beauty, charisma, and seductive mystique. It is a profound source of joy and happiness such a delightful creature exists, renewing my life with all his manifold treasures of incandescent color, shadow, shading, and glitter drawn by his delicately painted nails.

I find myself pining away for him, even crying out loud to myself, saying his name over and over again, as anyone would for someone they love. His name is a mantra that strengthens me. It feels good to say his name, as if it brings him closer to me. In my love for him I feel him within me, exploring our desires, uninhibited, unashamed to share the love we feel, holding, touching, grasping, feeling the pulse of life physically and spiritually that brings us ever higher to the heaven our desires will only know together as one. I embrace him physically, mentally emotionally, and spiritually. I will cry out loud, singing his name- "Jack ,Jack, Jack!... what have you done to me? You're so beautiful! You've captivated me and I feel helpless!" I realize society, culture, the legal system, the taboo surrounding this love and affection I feel for you, discourages me in every way from expressing the deep love within me for the beautiful being you are".

The society I live in does not want me to feel this way for you and I'm deeply troubled by the fact that I do. Sometimes I panic when I search within myself the depths of the love I feel for you and I understand it cannot be erased or changed. It pains me to say on a bad day when I'm afraid for the love I feel for you, I wish my feelings for you were not happening. If I could make them stop I would for the sake of convenience. It would be so much easier for me to get along to go along in a culture that forbids me loving you so much. I gaze with longing and deep yearning at your beautiful photographs, Jack. I talk to you out loud, Jack. I wistfully plead with you, desperation tightening my vocal cords, crying out meekly, that you stop being so beautiful, Jack. I wish you would stop making me love you. Please? Sometimes I resign myself to a complacent shrug and passively/aggressively blame you for tempting me into experiencing sensations and attractions I should never experience.

Because you are so beautiful Jack, you've become for me a romantic ideal I never want to live without. My love for the beauty you exhibit so perfectly has made me beautiful with love. My life would have no purpose if I did not love you. It would have no meaning. It wouldn't be worth living. I celebrate my love for you in all its manifestations, splendiferous rainbow eyelids batting fulsome lashes, cosmetic sculptures powdering your soft skin canvas, pink rouge visions of your smooth cheeks quicken my heart and captivate my soul. Your glittery child spirit sparkling within me never leaves me alone. So The love I feel for you frightens me. We live in a society that harshly discourages the warmth of the profound love I feel for you that so enraptures me. My lonely darkness is filled with your love's light whenever I see you, Jack. I'm inoculated against abandonment knowing you're always with me in my heart. If I close my eyes and I allow myself to love you unimpeded by the obstacles of fear others have placed before me, my love for you is infinite with abundant gifts your beauty is able to dispense to all who gaze upon you. And it is because of this generosity your beauty displays that I feel so in love with you. It's a gift you freely give to everyone simply because you love yourself enough to let others see how beautiful you are. Any soul possessed of enough natural empathy to love will be grateful that you designed yourself so beautifully for all of us. We feel blessed by your physical and spiritual gift of artistic creativity which makes you so unique. I'm sure more than just this lonely old man has fallen hopelessly in love with you. That's why you're so famous.

What is so beautiful in Jack and has been made so joyful within me is also the occasion for brutal punishment. As beautiful as Jack may be to everyone who is a boylover there is an opposing force of surplus fear that seeks to condemn us to an outer darkness extinguishing this love's light. This darkness that condemns us is born out of an irrational superstition that the love I feel for this one boy is nothing but depraved, perverse, degenerate, instincts, fueling some mythical monstrous predator devoid of mercy or compassion for those we love, lusting with violence to inflict pain. These are the medieval prejudices of ignorance and bear absolutely no resemblance to the tenderness compassion and love's most basic impulse to protect and nurture those for whom we love so deeply. This is the injustice of a false accusation and it is an absurd assumption and can be easily disproven.

Why would I harm someone for whom my love expresses itself so deeply? What purpose would there be in physically assaulting or psychologically traumatizing the being of someone who gives strength meaning and purpose to my own existence? The gift of beauty Jack gives to the world I return with immense gratitude. If this boy I love named Jack were injured in any way it would be more harmful to me as the love I feel for him is built upon what his existence manifests for all of us; youth, beauty, intelligence, artistic creativity, and the liberty these qualities enable him to experience with such exhilaration. He rewards us all with his genius and accomplishments. It would be for us all the most terrible loss and a grievous wound in the soul of a world that should treasure its most beautiful and creative talents and want them to fulfill the expectations of their great potential, with a long, healthy and prosperous life, a loving family, friends, and admirers who forever hope and pray for him. A great beauty like Jack would be a benefit for eternity, for people's yet to come, who seek to appreciate and learn from the artistic achievements transmitted from our age to benefit with its inspiration future generations. Our love for Jack is a responsibility that he should be in no wise hurt but nurtured, encouraged, and surrounded with other souls who love him. None of us would profit by losing his gifts prematurely. Our love for Jack requires Jack always be here with us, so we may return with love the beauty and love he has always given us.

Yes... there's always some sick, diseased, random individual out of the flotsam of humanity that may for some inconceivable reason or purpose cause harm to Jack. Life is filled with many threats for all of us. We are mortal beings and we are always injured more or less by accident or some unforeseen catastrophe. If the responsibility were conferred on me I would be there for Jack, to let him know that I love him the way that I do, to protect him, to keep him safe. I would do all in my power to prevent any instance of pain that may befall him. I love his boyhood and the unparalleled beauty it exhibits. I'm a boy lover, not a hater. I would hug Jack and I would kiss him on the cheek, and let him know it is because his life is just as important if not more important than mine and I want him to continue living it with happiness, joy, and fulfillment. My love and my affection for Jack would always be there to edify him if it were legal and acceptable.

This love and affection would be in quantity and quality no different than any family member or relative would dispense. Such displays of physical and spiritual affection are a natural human process of development and growth. Like any living creature we engage in expressions of love because it maintains our species and allows us to evolve into something greater. Misconstruing a man's love for the beauty, talent, education and success, any boys productive interests might realize, as sexual abuse or rape, says more about the toxic people hurling such slanders than it does about a strong, virile man who desires only the best for the boy he loves so deeply.

Yes, I like anyone else realize there are some very evil, very dangerous people out there. I can assure you I'm not one of them. My intentions for the boy that I love are not evil and are in no way dangerous. The love that I feel for him is because of who and what he is and the unique phenomenon every boy represents. It's nothing that I would ever seek to harm or destroy I promise you that. It is this boy's life that keeps this man living. Every boy's innocence is his most precious gift. Maintaining that boylovers somehow plot to befoul that innocence and violate it by some bizarre act of sadistic pederasty is nothing else but the lurid fantasies of the accusers themselves, vain imaginings of poisonous souls, opportunists who seek to spread the contagion of fear and paranoia and gain positions of power for themselves, exploiting the unraveled moral fabric of a system they themselves have torn to shreds, simply to gain a momentary advantage and profit from the misery of the victims they destroyed.

We're boylovers-not haters. It is their so-called protectors who have done more harm to boys. With so much mistrust and enmity, men who love boys more passionately than other men, are no longer there to be their mentors, to be there teachers, to be the protectors all men should be for every boy, so they may grow safe in the knowledge the beauty within themselves may be freely given, the same way Jack has given to all men blessed by what they have received; a beautiful boy to love.

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January 31, 2021:

By Anonymous

Hi, I'm about 9 months from a bachelors in Human Development, I study trauma, and my expertise is with people aged 0 -> 27, with an emphasis on child-adult sex. Take what I say with a grain of salt, but also that I believe that there should be evidence prior to denouncing such a large group of people; as we have seen prior to political enemies and enemies of culture. (Socialist movements, LGBT movements all have an identical history as Nambla & MAP) In the scientific community, research starts at a certain point that is beyond conversation, it doesn't start at the beginning, or the middle, the research in this field all starts with a conclusion, that pedophilia is bad.

What comes off strange to me is that there is no real conclusive research to prove this, in the same way that there was no research to prove that homophilia was a mental disease. The conclusive research that I have been able to find is that, well, children who have encountered negative sexual experiences have gained negative development from this behavior. Then the question is, is this normal? Do all people feel bad about rape? I feel like such an idiot for even asking that question to somebody, a real legitimate human being that breaths in and out using their lungs. Yes, rape feels bad. But what about circumstances that aren't rape? So an adult and a child have consensual sex, and you make that a rape regardless of consent, love and compassion; at that point, are you the sex offender? Is it a sex offense to arrest a homosexual for having anal sex with another man, answer both questions with the same answer.

So if it isn't an issue of morality, is it an issue of biology? I can't say so, no, I don't believe there is scientific evidence on any database that I've scoured; to ultimately prove this. You can say, children are undeveloped, therefore they can't have sex. You can say that. You can say that about school too. They are underdeveloped, therefore wait until school. But that doesn't make sense in any category. We know for a fact to start kids off early, but not too early for school. Don't push them, they will come along with assistance when it's needed. School is necessary, because it teaches children how to get along with others, components necessary to life, components necessary to succeed on a level that ultimately ends their life in happiness, and satisfaction. But why doesn't this logic exist for pedophilia? Why does sex exist beyond procreation? If children aren't having sex early in their lives, what is that telling them? We are looking at this in such a blunt, dense, and caveman like way, that we're blinded even on a scientific level; and what's worse than this is that research is blocked, and prevented, because it's suddenly unethical, or immoral to do research in that field. It is unlikely, in my lifetime, however young I might be, that I will be sponsored in the same way, in the same format as other researchers; to produce information for the scientific community.

The point I made above is that, you're not supposed to wait until somebody is already developed, to then begin developing them. Excuse my language, but, why in the fuck would you think that would work sexually and socially if it doesn't work with any credible research we've established for Human Development & Education?

If you're a parent, do you have the autonomy and ability to protect your children, guide them, set rules, be there for them? No? Then put your kids up for adoption, and take care of yourself. How can you possibly take care of a dog, a cat, let alone another human being if you can't even do any of those things?

Did you answer yes to the question above? Then mind your own business, and stop trying to control other people's children / adults. If you're going to make an accusation, it isn't the job of an entire population to dedicate their lives, and several generations to prove you wrong like the people before you had been proven wrong. I don't want anybody deciding how my future daughter, or my future son is using their body for their own development; other than myself to start, and eventually their own decision later in their lives. If they want to have sex with an older guy or girl that wants to spend time with them, help them with homework, be another family member for them; who is anybody to tell me why I can't let that happen? If they're enjoying it, and their friend is enjoying it, why in the hell would I denounce it?

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By Anonymous

Hello,

I am wondering if NAMBLA is still functioning as a group or site. I see that over a while there's not a lot of new content, however I understand that a website rich with updated content tends to draw people in.

As in need as NAMBLA may be I imagine dealing with a segments of our current culture, at times could be very defeating, and being low-key is survivable.

Any how, if you're still functional I'd be interested in hearing back.

Thanks.

Our response:

We are indeed functioning! Our Web site stays fairly current and makes available facts that counter the actual "fake news" that even otherwise respectable media spread. We may trust established media with most news, but when it comes to sexuality, the media collectively bury their heads in the sand.

To supplement our Web site, we also publish an email newsletter which you are welcome to subscribe to by emailing info@nambla.org

We also have a letters section and because you bring up a good point we expect that your letter will appear there. Other features too are in the works. Stay tuned!

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Thank you for the newsletter. A truly enlightening article. *

Being once myself a therapist, it was the confusion of attempting to bring about the point that boy love/pedophilic emotions and the action of; was not only morally/legally wrong but mentally and physically wrong. After group or one to one sessions, I walked away knowing I agreed with my patients.

What these men said made sense to me and that confused me greatly. As I researched and spoke with colleagues on how to address what made sense to me, it brought me great ostracization and in time suspicion, but privately I enjoyed our sessions more and more and found myself wanting to explore and embrace their views openly. I would not, could not dare. I did not believe what my response had to be, and this brought about a series of many questions I was forced to ask myself: because I genuinely cared about these men and their belief system. It was heart wrenching to respond to these men with what I knew were lies and still believe that I was a therapist who was doing the right thing. Healing? I was doing harm and not healing anybody; including myself. This had to stop!

The first thing I had to do was to re-examine what I too had been told was molestation I "suffered" through and secondly to adjust the therapy I was dispensing.

I took a sabbatical and spent several weeks alone in my cabin by a lake and read, thought, canoed, fished and hiked and thought some more. I re-adjusted my whole therapeutic moral stance and in turn, the milieu of my entire approach to treating what I now knew was a true, and very real "sexual orientation". Thanks for listening, Joe.

* Anyone wishing to receive our newsletter should write to info@nambla.org

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"...brains are not yet developed enough to make sound judgments" - 3 things -

1.) The AoC is 16 to 18 yet the brain isn't "fully developed" until the age of 25. So now suddenly about 100% of the population would be what? A Pedophile?

2.) If you're using your brain, you aren't doing it correctly *wink*.

3) Why would Mother Nature, or God (which ever you choose to believe) make us sexually mature enough at only 9 to 13, and why are we at our most attractive (ability to attract others) at a peak of only 14? In fact, a study showed that an 11-year-old is seen as attractive more often than a 25-year-old (when the brain is fully dev) and over.

Ref: Study by Kent State University, Behavior Therapy 26, 681-694, 1995: "Sexual Arousal and Arousability to Pedophilic Stimuli of Normal Men",

Shawn

[Editor's note: Though we agree that there are a lot of inconsistencies in society's approach to sexuality, we did not quite understand point 1)]

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December 24, 2020:

By Anonymous

You guys rock. And you've done awesome stuff. But come on, just set an age of consent at adolescence. Nobody is going to get down with the freedom to date 1 year olds. And the name "man boy love", it sounds too weird. Make the age of adulthood 13. Make teenagers adults. No "man boy love".

I love you guys, you're awesome. But you can make soooo much more of a difference if you be more reasonable.

Our response:

Hi [anonymous],

Thank you for your words of support.

Believe me, no one is talking about dating young kids. Our enemies love to twist things their way, and many of us buy into this. Have you ever heard of the Stockholm syndrome?

Our position on human sexuality is solidly supported by science, but science does not always get accepted right away.

We adopted our policies many years ago, after much debate, not to win popularity contests but to state the truth. Be assured that "No age of consent" ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT MEAN "anything goes."

As for "man boy love," the word "gay" was also once met with derision. In most circles it no longer is.

We are taking the liberty of separately sending you our current email newsletter. It deals with a famous composer closer to the kind of relationship you imply.

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By Anonymous

Hello and greetings. I am wondering if it is possible to sign up without making a donation? And I am also wondering if there would be any sort of community at all where we can interact and I can meet more people who have the same opinion as me on this?

Our response:

Hi [anonymous],

We will put you on our email newsletter list that is slated to come out from time to time. The newsletters and our Web site should, over time, answer your questions.

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By Anonymous

Hey! Thanks for the newsletter! On the day when it arrived, I mentioned -by pure chance!- the sexuality of Tchaykovski to my friend. We were talking about homosexuality during Wilde's era.

Wish you nice holidays!

[The above letter was in response to our December holiday newsletter examining the composer's relations with teenagers and the cause of his suicide. Since the holiday always includes performances of Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite," we felt him to be an appropriate theme.]

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By Joe

I like the news letter very much. I'd like to find out more about other famous bl's. I did watch a bio of Tchaikovsky and it mentioned nothing of his affairs. I was not surprised. The great composer seemed to be a ephebophil, than hebephilia. All very interesting.

Have an awesome and safe Christmas, Joe.

[There is no shortage of famous bls, but the media ignores that aspect of their personalities. We will be examining more in the future.]

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By Anonymous

Thank you for the short article on Tchaikovsky. This reminder was a Christmas gift. As a child, I often went to see The Nutcracker Suite with my mom. It is amusing now to think that a family holiday tradition throughout Europe and America was created by a 'lover of Russian boys'. One of the many ironies of humanity.

It is also interesting to note that many great historical figures would be labeled sex offenders and/or put in prison today due to perceived sexual deviancies -Benjamin Franklin, Lewis Carroll, Tchaikovsky, Leonardo Da Vinci, etc... the list of perverts goes on. And all of this while at the same time the porn industry in the United States flourishes with unrestrained deviancy. Another one of those human ironies.

Happy Holidays

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By Anonymous

Hi,
Compliments on the newsletter! As someone interested in classical music as well as history, this one was very interesting to read.
Looking forward to future newsletters!

By the way, I would like to communicate with other Free Spirits of NAMBLA, have a postal or email communication initially, if you know someone who would be interested in sharing ideas let me know, and if it is possible to get in touch it would be of great help.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AGAIN !!!!

Our response:

Hi,
We do not have a secure forum for communications between supporters/members.
However, we highly recommend subscribing to heretictoc.com for intellectual exchanges. Subscription is free and anonymous.
We will be recommending the site in the next newsletter. Let us know if you have any questions.

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By Anonymous

Thank you very much for this mailing, I find it really interesting, and of course I will be happy to receive news about the newsletter and all your information.

Well, as I see it I need to clarify, it is totally true that the term "pedophile" is a contemporary demonized concept, since as we well know and it has been indicated in this writing, homosexual relationships used to be traditionally intergenerational, something that in the 19th century was even more common, in Tchaikovsky's time. In Russia, this would be the beginning of the degradation and denigration of many homosexual artists and boy-lovers, and therefore, this would be the beginning of the decline of homosexual culture, making artists like our composer Tchaikovsky suffer from their passions.

From here to the present time we have been able to see the internal struggle of segregation and hate against the homosexual culture in Russia, for me, it is a clear declaration of intentions of the own political powers of the bourgeois Russia, that created the stigma for homosexuals, lovers of the boys, and people of freedom.

Very happy holidays, best wishes and I hope to keep in touch, receive information and engage in interesting dialogues and debates.

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By Anonymous

Thank you for an informative holiday newsletter. I now know more about Tchaikovsky
It is important to celebrate our historical brothers.

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By Anonymous

Hey thanks for sharing
This is a step in the right direction
Sharing information and dialogue here helps us bring light to the subject and raise it from the darkness
I have suspicions the most high level people at the top of society engage in sexual activities with minors to some degree.
Would you mind sharing any other known or suspected cases, either current or historical?
I think it helps us feel less alone.

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By Anonymous

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! I appreciate the newsletter and definitely DO NOT want to be removed from the list. I agree with everything Nambla stands for and will send money as a donation after the 1st of the year. I wish you all a very festive and Happy Christmas or hannukah, etc! Please take care and be safe.

Best Regards,

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August 20, 2020:

A Modest Proposal

By Anonymous

With apologies to Jonathan Swift

Joe Biden has just chosen his running mate, Kamala Harris, and I am inspired! Joe wants to make his administration to look like America, and I could not agree more. Who wouldn’t – maybe just the few eat-their-heart-out-hate-everybody malcontents. With Pamela Harris, Biden hit the trifecta of constituencies -- women, Asians and Blacks. But he has missed an important one…

To this end, I suggest that instead of the various names that have been suggested, boy lovers, girl lovers, minor attracted persons (MAPs) and even "vicious" – I meant "virtuous" -- pedophiles we proudly call ourselves “Perverts” with a capital “P”. Now wait, I know what you’re thinking, but please follow my argument to its logical conclusion.

Proudly owning a pejorative is not new. Black young men do it. They call each other the “N” word all the time. I know, because I hear it constantly in the college gym. But woe should a white guy do the same. I am a white guy. You can be sure that I never do that. But should we proudly adopt “Pervert” we will be sharing it with such a large population that there will be no need to be selfish about who uses the “P” word.1

I hope you don’t think I am kidding. Perverts form an immense constituency of which we are but a small part. Perhaps that constituency is not yet as large as the Moral Majority but it is quickly gaining ground. Just look at one recent president and a current one. Having your dick sucked, even by someone you were married to, it would fall under some sort of act against nature. Wouldn’t it? And unsolicited grabbing someone’s pussy should also qualify.

Nixon once said, “When the president does it, that means it is not illegal." So maybe Clinton and Trump are not perverts. But let’s not just stop there. We have Supreme Court Justices on our side. One famously questioned a woman he supervised as to the provenance of a coke can with a genital hair on it and another sexually assaulted a fellow teenager. Mere allegations, you say? I believe the accusing women! Why shouldn’t I? We do all believe the children who never, never lie. Accomplished women deserve no less.

That only makes four perverts you tell me, but wait! We have only begun to scratch the surface. Let’s forget for a moment all the politicians claiming to need to spend more time with their families or repentant megachurch preachers.

I looked up “common human perversions” on Google. Of course, I then immediately deleted my searches. No one wants anyone to think that he is into these things. You wouldn’t believe what came up. There were pictures too! I am too embarrassed to describe them. But sites I checked and that had real people with real PhDs explaining it to me left me assured that barring perhaps Mother Theresa or the Pope but certainly barring Jesus, just about everyone shared a cherished perversion.

So, even if Joe Biden and Pamela Harris want an administration that looks like America, I still have not made up my mind on who to vote for. It would be hard to believe that Republicans do not also look like America, at least when it comes to perversions.

P.S. If you are still not convinced that owning a pejorative is a genius move, think of the Christian Cross. Before its adoption, it symbolized for Romans the complete and utter destruction of a human being with his remains to be food for carrion animals. I say, the worse the pejorative the better the symbol!

 

[Note from Eric: I am not inclined to resurrect or repurpose the term, "pervert," to mean something positive. I'm not at all sold on that concept. For one thing, it doesn't directly challenge the hatred that that term is loaded with and stupid people will think that we accept the worst connotations with which it is associated. I really think we should stick with "boylover." It is the purest, most honest, distillation of the reason for our movement.]

 

[Reply]
Hi Eric,
I kind of liked Pervert with a capital P, but I respect that you do not.
R.

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Letters of 2020

 

 

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